SPRING BREAK!!! WOOOOOOOOO!!!

Right? Well not so much for me. In a time usually reserved for all out partying and getting st00pid (traditionally), I am instead sitting here writing on the Greatest Metal Podcast of all Time’s blog. In other years I would fly back to Nicaragua during this precious week, but alas, my economic situation is such that I can’t really afford a plane ticket right now, so I’ll be staying in the US this time.

Back in the homeland, I would probably be waking up right now with a slight hangover to the sound of my sister’s dogs running about the house. Instead, I woke up about 2 hours ago to the sound of my alarm clock. I don’t really have any friends in this here country, so most of this week will be spent being by my lonesome, deep in the Wordless Chamber. I do have a few things I want to do that haven’t been possible in regular school time; like record this song I’ve been playing in my head for a while now, catch up on my biking/gym sessions, finish putting together my RGEM and look harder for an internship.

As far as Metalscape goes, I have no idea if Zach will ever come back on. Last episode was pretty awesome content-wise, but it also showed that he’s really not into it at all anymore. Remember giddy ol’ Zach excited about telling us about some new freeware software that organizes your .mp3s? Yeah that’s gone to shit. So I’ll be doing MSRs in the meantime. Join me tomorrow night, Sunday, if you want to get in on the action.

So how will you be spending your Spring Break?

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Have you ever encountered a goddamn hippie in the wild and had no gangsta rap/bay references/Lady Gaga at hand to make him/her feel inadequate?

Well now you can avoid them altogether by warning them off with the official Zach Moore OMFFH Shirt:

Available now at the Metalscape Shop. BUY OR DIE!

ITE: Hot Date or not? Lady Gag Reflex and her/his penis, Staccato talking, Throat-fucking, “He’s an idiot. I used to like him”, fucking Reaper, relistening experiences, rut music, “like a wah pedal midway”, attempting skydiving discussions, “you don’t know ricky”, published writer, The Organic Quasi-Debate, Old Man Zach: Full Force Hate Mode, missing file properties, pretentious music, “FIX YOUR SOUND”, to stereo or not to stereo, air ranks, perfectly average cocks, anger management, “I love my new phone”, metal news, “my phone is awesome”, “did I tell you about my phone yet?”, “I’ll tell you again anyway”.
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Unless you’re a complete fucking dipshit, you knew that the mighty Rhapsody Of Fire were working on a new album, “The Frozen Tears of Angels”. And today the most epic of epic bands have released the cover art for it:

Look at it. It’s got angels, swords, ice, fire and maybe even some tears. I dunno. But what I do know is that there’s a giant motherfucking dragon on it, and that’s all I need. Rhapsody have discovered the secret to amazing album covers: Dragons. I’m serious. Every single album cover you can think of can be instantly improved by a margin of 300% if you add dragons. Example:

Normally I could give a shit about Taylor Swift, but if this was the actual cover of any of her albums I would definitely buy at least 5 copies, because anyone who loves dragons as much as Rhapsody of Fire, Taylor Swift and myself should be supported no matter what.

And if that wasn’t enough, they’ve also posted a TOTALLY NEW SONG OFF THE ALBUM! WHICH YOU CAN DOWNLOAD!!!! But if you just want to listen to it, here you go; It’s called “Sea of Fate” and it is so epic in its underwhelming it’s completely of fire:

The Motherfucking Frozen Tears of Angels comes out on April 30th.

Nifelvind, Finntroll’s new album is out now in Europe. That doesn’t mean it’s not available anywhere else though… Anyway, I’m giving it a listen right now and with every song I’m reminded why Finntroll is such a great band. They will never top Jaktens Tid in my heart, but that doesn’t mean they have to give up on making good music. This album continues the troll’s quest for expanding their sound and folksing up their metal in ways untried before. The result? A very enjoyable album.

7/10

It seems Meshuggah are bent on really making me hate them. Not content with releasing a shit, shit album, they had to go on and make their first ever live DVD from material recorded during their tour for their shit, shit album. And now to top it all off, they’ve made a deal with Hot Topic it seems, where the only place you can get the fucking DVD is at their stores. As an alternative, the DVD is also available online, at hotmotherfuckingtopic.com.

That’s just fantastic Meshuggah. How about this stunt for your next release, ready? Ok so the first thing you do is shit out a retarded album in like 2 weeks, call it “LaLwZeN” and then you get Nuclear Blast to get a hold of Disney or something, so you guys can have a spot in a Hannah Montana episode. Next thing you know, you’ll be making your own Disney musical! And why stop there? After that maybe one of you guys can have a role in the next Twilight movie! Next you can try releasing a sex tape! That’s when you land your very own reality show on MTV “Shuggah!”, get pregnant/on drugs/divorced to keep you in the spotlight and you’re set for life. What about the music you say? Don’t worry, Nuclear Blast will simply keep releasing “LaLwZeN” with a different cover art every six months and that will keep all your 16 year old girl fans happy.

Oh yeah, Arsis is doing the same thing too.

Playlist:
Divinity – Abiogenesis
Iron Maiden – Iron Maiden
Demigod – The Forlorn
Blind Guardian – And Then There Was Silence
Ahab – Old Thunder
Adagio – Missa Aeterna
Immortal – In my Kingdom Cold
Ahab – The Hunt
Burzum – Morgenroede
Angra – So Near So Far
Devin Townsend – Deep Peace
Ulver – Shadows of the Sun
Earth – Engine of Ruin
Dire Straits – Sultans of Swing
Camel – Slow Yourself Down
Kreator – Terror Zone
Beaux Arts Trio – Rachmaninov – Trio élégiaque No.2 in D minor (Op.9): Moderato
Meshuggah – Humiliative

I’ll be doing another installment of the kvltest radio show online, Metalscape Radio, tonight @ 9:00 pm eastern.

Join in and make requests. Also, listen in for a chance to win a free shirt!