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Archive for September, 2009

Nile goes down on some Nobles

Egypt-core band Nile have posted a song off their upcoming “Those Whom the Gods Detest” album on their myspace. Titled “Permitting the Noble Dead to Descend to the Underworld”, it is a traditional long ass Nile song title, but I believe it could’ve been longer. And with more substance. They’ve been lacking in the song title department as of late.

The song itself is surprisingly not bad, after a couple of listens I found myself actually tapping my foot along with it. I especially like that harmonized guitar wailing in the middle that sounds like something the Nazgul would play when soloing. Check it out.

If the rest of the album is as good as this song, I might consider getting this special package thing they got going on:

Devin Townsend Is A Musical Genius

Just a couple of Minutes ago on his official twitter Devin Townsend released some info on plans for his upcoming tour.

This man is releasing 3 albums back to back, and is now going to go on tour and release a new EP every 6 months so his show doesn’t get stale. How long is he planning on touring?

I’m thinking that now I’m going to be touring, that I should just release a new and different ep each 6 months as promotion for the shows.

Addicted is a great record, but just more material for live as opposed to something I feel the need to cling to.

I started rehearsing a fast and heavy ep, some reworked Physicist stuff, and the best ‘songs’ off deconstruction, could track it in December

And then it would be part of the show. I’ve get a new age thing, an acoustic thing, a wanky guitar thing… a new ep every 6 months?

It would keep intersted musically, keep the identity fluid, and give me tons of new stuff to play. The industry has definitely changed.

If the new music could be promotion for the show…cool! Addicted is just this 6 month periods contribution…


Those Whom the Gods Detest

That’s the title of Nile’s upcoming album which is apparently the first one to deviate from the band’s trademark Egyptian themes.
those whom the gods detest
Ok that’s not true. Karl Sander promises that it will have more sand in it than your grandma’s vagina. Perhaps not as much. The artwork is pretty sweet, it reminds me of a history book. Track list was also posted and it contains some very interestingly named songs. Also worth noting on that link is that Nuclear Blast expects this to be Nile’s shortest running album, with a total duration of 0.00 minutes.

Props to Nile for breaking away from social constraints and political correctness by naming the first track on their new death metal album “Nigger”. You may argue that that’s not the literal meaning of the word, and that they might be using it in the original middle eastern context but I might argue that you’d be ruining my already frail joke. Asshole. Then you have a song about turd incantations which may actually be the best song title I’ve ever heard. We then skip to track No. 5 in which these motherfuckers apparently failed at spelling the word “Dragon” (a quick call to fellow crackpots Rhapsody would’ve solved that in a jiffy) and then the deadly spelling bee strikes again on track No. 8, which looks like it took 3 tries to get the name right. At No. 9 we have “The Eye of Ra” which is the quintessential, iconical and most famous Egyptian imagery element of all time:
Kinda weird actually, because you can call Nile everything you want, but they are certainly not cliché when it comes to their Egypt stuff.

Anyway it should be an interesting release. Ithyphallic was crap admittedly, but I’m still interested to see what has Mr. Sanders has cooked up this time.

Dude, where’s my car?

Sup gice.

I’m supposed to get my car back from the mechanic today. I was going to tell you the awesome tale of how it got fucked up over the supposed episode recording that was gonna take place during the weekend. As you all know, that didn’t happen.
For all of you who don’t know, I’m the proud owner of a 2004 Nissan Murano, and last week something wicked its way came. I was backing out my parking spot when I suddenly noticed that the steering had become harder than my abs. It was almost completely locked. At the same time I started hearing a weird creaking noise coming from the engine, so I stopped. I looked under the car and saw a puddle of liquid which I assumed to be the power steering liquid. I also assumed that I was not going anywhere in this car that day.

So I called the mechanic to send a tow truck over to pick up my crippled vehicle and get it fixed. I thought it was a simple matter of replacing a broken hose or a seal, but no. According to el mechanicho, I had somehow managed to break the power steering rack. Now if you’re like me when it comes to cars, the first thing you’d be thinking is “what the fuck is the power steering rack?”.

It’s this thing right here:
And if you wanna know how that fucker works, click here.

So the tech mech tells me I’m gonna have to replace the entire piece. Either that or take the broken one to some dudes that do “repair” work on these sort of parts for a fraction of the price. I of course tell him to get it new because I don’t want some random bastards putting lawnmower parts inside my trusty steed. This happened on Thursday. It’s been 4 days without my car now. It sucks.

That colombian grease monkey told me it was going to be ready today, so in the meantime I’m writing this post.

I miss my car.

Fuck the Police

This is not metal at all, but it’s awesome:

CoB Salad Ruins Other Peoples Music Too!

Not content with slowly turning their own music into shit flavored baby food. The “long anticipated” cover album from Fags of Bodom (lulz I’m clever) entitled “Skeletons in the Closet” has a release date and a trailer video.

Some of the covers are rehashes of the cutesy ones they’ve thrown on albums all along like Talk Dirty to Me, Rebel Yell, and Ooops!… I Did it Again. Some of which were actually done back when it was still slightly ironic to cover pop songs as a metal band.
They’ve now however decided that they are going to go after classic metal names. Like Iron Maiden, King Diamond, Sepultura, and Suicidal Tendencies. They will undoubtedly botch all of them.
If they ever open for Suicidal Tendencies again, not only will all the CoB Kiddies be talking about how shitty ST is, they’ll be saying Alexi did War Inside My Head better than they did. GG Alexi, you’ve made the never ending struggle against retardation that is my life that much harder.

Sundays at the Wordless Chamber

So it’s a lovely Sunday afternoon, and the slowest of days passes by even slower when you have nothing really important to do. I just washed some dishes and now I’m enjoying some Rachmaninov while I debate with myself to whether take a shower or not. Of course I could be working on my speech for my public speaking class, but where’s the fun in that?

So tell me, my beloved metal kin, how does this Sunday find you?

Buy Chepe’s Bike

Stop whatever the fuck you’re doing and check this out: YOU can be the proud owner of a barely used, mint condition Yamaha YZ-250 Special Edition Motocross Bike!!!

Chepes Bike

If you’re currently thinking about buying a car I would advise you to stop being a moron and buy this bike immediately. Nothing says metal like cruising down the highway on your very own off-road bike. Trust me.

Rammstein go hardcore

In the video for their new single, “Pussy”, german shit band Rammstein go hardcore. As in hardcore porn.

No seriously, you think that after all the tits and ass in the first half of the video they’re done with it, but then shit gets real dawgs. Real nasty.

Check it out.

Where were you when the Death Star fell?

7 Years and 20 Days and it's finally out!