Archive for March, 2010

Have you ever encountered a goddamn hippie in the wild and had no gangsta rap/bay references/Lady Gaga at hand to make him/her feel inadequate?

Well now you can avoid them altogether by warning them off with the official Zach Moore OMFFH Shirt:

Available now at the Metalscape Shop. BUY OR DIE!

ITE: Hot Date or not? Lady Gag Reflex and her/his penis, Staccato talking, Throat-fucking, “He’s an idiot. I used to like him”, fucking Reaper, relistening experiences, rut music, “like a wah pedal midway”, attempting skydiving discussions, “you don’t know ricky”, published writer, The Organic Quasi-Debate, Old Man Zach: Full Force Hate Mode, missing file properties, pretentious music, “FIX YOUR SOUND”, to stereo or not to stereo, air ranks, perfectly average cocks, anger management, “I love my new phone”, metal news, “my phone is awesome”, “did I tell you about my phone yet?”, “I’ll tell you again anyway”.
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Unless you’re a complete fucking dipshit, you knew that the mighty Rhapsody Of Fire were working on a new album, “The Frozen Tears of Angels”. And today the most epic of epic bands have released the cover art for it:

Look at it. It’s got angels, swords, ice, fire and maybe even some tears. I dunno. But what I do know is that there’s a giant motherfucking dragon on it, and that’s all I need. Rhapsody have discovered the secret to amazing album covers: Dragons. I’m serious. Every single album cover you can think of can be instantly improved by a margin of 300% if you add dragons. Example:

Normally I could give a shit about Taylor Swift, but if this was the actual cover of any of her albums I would definitely buy at least 5 copies, because anyone who loves dragons as much as Rhapsody of Fire, Taylor Swift and myself should be supported no matter what.

And if that wasn’t enough, they’ve also posted a TOTALLY NEW SONG OFF THE ALBUM! WHICH YOU CAN DOWNLOAD!!!! But if you just want to listen to it, here you go; It’s called “Sea of Fate” and it is so epic in its underwhelming it’s completely of fire:

The Motherfucking Frozen Tears of Angels comes out on April 30th.