Archive for September, 2010
ITE: Twitter is ruining my Heroes, Bitches don’t know ’bout my Nautical Metal, Fake Vagina Ripping Dicks, Ron’s Playlist: Vs. The World and the Metalscape Facebook Fan Spotlight and Dubstep is actually pretty lame.
Suicidal Tendencies – Suicyco Mania
Devin Townsend – Away
Waylander – King of the Fairies
Ahab – The Hunt
Whore – A Decision Needs to be Made/What’s Wrong?
Enslaved – The Voices
Mew – Introducing Palace Players
Sepultura – Murder
Cookie Monsta – R0807 D06
Hillton FM – Send In My Army
Intro: Smov-E – Mi Amante
Music Bed: Dabrye – “One/Three”, “Instrmntl”, Latin Bitman – “Colour”, Masserati 2lts – “Exposicion Verano-Verano”
I like to stack my clothes neatly and balanced throughout the space available in my washer. I figure the washer will work more efficiently with a balanced weight distribution. Figure it’ll consume less power, wash faster and better too. It’ll also work easier and extend its usable life. Right? Or am I just talking shit?
Or “Odin’s Ethical Principles” (correct me if I’m wrong here Sheriff) is Norwegian Svart Metallers-Gone Prog Enslaved’s latest album, and according to our very own wayward soul Fungar, the thing is a “fucking mini-masterpiece”. It strikes me as odd that Fungar would allow himself to pass on judgement on metal music, because being such a devoted and long standing Metalscape fan himself, he should know that the only person with the right mindset to entertain such pretentious ego bolstering stunts is me. And only me. You got that, Fungar? Ok then, let’s procede.
First off, Internet, the first instance of Enslaved going prog dates back to the amazing intro for 793 (Slaget Om Lindisfarne) off of 1997′s “Eld”. When did 2003′s “Below the Lights” came into play as the official transition from black metal to prog? I have no idea.
Now, the album. I’ll tell you one thing, I fucking love Enslaved. Stuff like Storre Enn Tid, Tyngre Enn Natt and the entirety of the “Monumension” album are just things of unrivaled epicness in the assumed realm of black/prog metal. “Axioma Ethica Odini” is not. It’s as simple as that.
I don’t know why every review I’ve read for this album gets off by saying that this is some sort of masterpiece or fantastical voyage through music. I mean, it’s not a bad album, but as far as “masterpieces” go, I don’t think it quite fits the bill. There’s a few moments in the album where the music rises above the “meh” and dips its feet into the upside down pool of the “cool”, but to tell me that the thing is a riveting, exhilarating mindfuck from beggining to end with a straight face is a disservice to you, me, Enslaved and music.
You want the quasi-prog Enslaved’s been content with doing ever since Isa? Go ahead and get this album. You want music that would fit these reviews? Go listen to Convoys of Nothingness off of “Monumension”.
Blind Guardian always seemed like one of those bands I ought to like. After all, I’m a fan of pretty much every other big name power metal outfit (except the palm mute fest that is Iced Earth; Seriously guys, it doesn’t sound cool anymore if that’s all you do in a song), and Blind Guardian being one of the biggest it should be a given for me. But it’s not.
Why not you ask? Well, even though most of the time there are no rational reasons behind my hatred for certain things (like people who wear caps indoors), I have a particular list of items that compose my diagnosed dislike for this band. First off is the sound itself. It seems that whoever produces their albums has a passionate hatred for the high end side of the sonic spectrum, seeing as every Blind Guardian album sounds like every frequency above 10k Hz was nuked to oblivion. Secondly, there’s the guitar tone and harmonies. Why is it that this band’s guitar solos sound like some sort of Jordan Rudess-rejected synthesizer patch? It’s even worse when they do their godawful harmonies in which they love to throw these string bends that sound like someone’s choking an 8 bit sound cat sample. Take a listen to some proper guitar sound guys, stuff like Stratovarius or Angra, hear the difference? That’s what you call tone. And third and last, there’s the big issue of the music itself. Boring, uninspired, generic. I don’t really get how some people love this band to death when they have such plain-jane vanilla compositions. That one song from “Nightfall” is cool (don’t remember the name), but that’s it. This rational hatred is the best kind though (or the worse, depending on your point of view), because as rational as it got construed, it can equally be brought down.
That’s why I gave this new Blind Guardian album, “At the Edge of Time” the benefit of the doubt. It got exciting reviews all around, some people calling it “their best since ‘Nightfall’ ” and stuff. So I went ahead and listened to it, in hopes that I might join in what countless others were already basking in. But, as you may have already guessed by now, it didn’t go down that way. The entire preceding paragraph still holds true for this newest Blind Guardian album. More to the point: It sucks. Boring, tedious and terrible sounding. Listening to this album is like being dragged with a rope tied around your arms by a confused donkey along an endless stretch of desert while some asshole dressed in a court jester outfit sitting atop your head farts on your right ear.
I was going to write a review for this, but I decided against it since I can’t really review an album which draws absolutely no interest from me. Fuck it.
ITE: Recording Confirmed, Russian Internet, Metalscape broadens its Horizons, The Nicaraguan Metal Scene, Ebony Football, Rappin’, Reverse Mulan: Dishonorably Discharged Pop Superstars, Magnets, GDot strikes again, The Exclusive Metalscape-Only Halo: Reach Review (and the current state of the gaming industry according to Ron), Tacos, Happy Mexican Bicentennial, D00M, “You’re an animal” and Pedozach.
Bulb – F8
Carpathian Forest – Return of the Freezing Winds
Mos Def – Auditorium
Alexandrov Ensemble – Russian Military Marches
Catasexual Urge Motivation – Homicidal Patterns – Organized-Disorganized
Ahab – Old Thunder
Prince – Erotic City
Coroner – Son of Lilith
Earth – Omens And Portents I – The Driver
Absu – shield with an iron face
Ophis – The Halls of Sorrow
Midnight – Vomit Queens
Steven Osborne – Rachmaninov – Prelude Op.23, No.5 in G minor
Shivaree – Goodnight Moon
Smoov-E – Dreamgirl
Smoov-E – The Fondler
Intro: Ratatat – Bilar. Music Bed: Tsuchie – Samurai Champloo Music Records “Masta”, Tsuchie/Fat Jon – Samurai Champloo Music Records “Playlist”.
The Sword – Tres Brujas
Uaral – Fragment of an unedited composition
Symphony X – Thorns of Sorrow
Behemoth – Rome 64 C.E.
The Sisters of Mercy – This Corrosion
Wormed – Uncolored Plasma Orifices Transported
Inhume – Airplane Crash
Ratatat – Mirando
Music Bed: Ulver – Teachings in Silence (Silence teaches you how to Sing, Not Saved), Wardruna – Runaljod – Gap Var Ginnunga
Legendary folk metal outfit Moonsorrow will be starting to record their next full release album today, September 2nd, at some undisclosed studio in Finland. According to a blog post on their MySpace, “This stuff is Cold, Heavy and Crushing.” They’re aiming for a February 2011 release date.
They also made a separate blog site in which they’ll be posting studio diary updates, in case you’re interested in following that sort of shenanigans. According to that site, they’re going for an organic feel on this one, no “silicon implanted/software manipulated modern day metal sound” bullshit. They’re even recording their tracks on tape! Sadly, all of that will go to shit when the 90% of people who listen to them end up downloading it digitally anyway. But I guess it will make up for an excellent sounding vinyl record for those who like to keep it old school.
Hopefully the album will not be comprised of a single 80 minute long song with a 20 minute intro composed of squirrel sound samples. Although that would be awesome actually. If anything to annoy Zach.
“V: Havitetty” was a decent album, but not a great one like their previous stuff. Maybe they’ll surprise me with this one. Maybe.