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How amazing is Wintersun's Time I?

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Archive for October, 2010

About the Contest

Please submit only one song.

Also, I will not be listening to any of the songs prior to the show. We will have an episode before the Request Challenge to select the 8 entries live on the program.

Thanks for entering!

The Metalscape Request Challenge

Over here at Metalscape, The Greatest Metal Podcast of all Time, we like to entertain the idea of listeners actually requesting songs to be played on the show by actually playing them (from time to time). Now if we were at all serious about this program, we would not allow requests at all.

Well why the fuck not? For starters, if are, as we claim to be, the best metal podcast out there, we shouldn’t rely on our listeners to make up our playlist. Seems both lazy and un-professional. But the biggest reason against playing requests is that 90% of the time we simply do not like the music being requested. Simple as that. Yeah I know you love your favorite band and they’re awesome and everything but guess what? I hate them. And I hate you.

But now we’re giving you the opportunity to show us different.
Read the rest of this entry »

Death Metal Chix

Saw this one over at Invisible Oranges. Wtf:

I’d hit it. I wonder if she’s a growler or a bree-er in the sack?


Now available in the Metalscape Shop!


Best metal album of all time?

When I think of my favorite metal albums of all time, dear albums of mine, mostly from my young and careless age spring to mine. Releases by Stratovarius, Strapping Young Lad, Symphony X, Decapitated, Meshuggah and the like.

Those bands all have at least one amazing album out there. And it’s fantastic metal music. In some cases, some of the heaviest metal music ever recorded in fact; But I’m not too sure that it’s heavy enough to transcend metal. Is it heavy enough to break through the chainmail orb of metalness and blow minds elsewhere? Think of it, could songs from your regular favorite metal bands be stripped of their heavy distorted guitars, over-compressed drums and screaming/growling/shrieking/pig-squealin’ and still sound amazing?

Could they be your favorites song ever without all the elements that make it metal (and that make you love it in turn), and just connect to you in music’s most basic principle of melody, space and emotional evocation?

Every song on Ahab’s “The Call of the Wretched Sea” album can. It could also do it in its present form, which is I think, the best sounding one.

I think it is metal’s best album to date. Definitely check it out.

Hostile Cell, The Newest Nicaraguan Metal Sensation

I’ve never listened to the band, but they probably suck. They’re pissed off about some bad review that they got blah blah blah. But they are bragging about getting lot’s of airplay on Nicaraguan radio. Ron has never even mention radio stations existing in Nicaragua, I think someone is pulling their leg.

I’ll post the whole comment here for funsies, it’s mildly entertaining.

"Hey everyone, Hostile Cell has been getting airplay on national radio in Nicaragua! Very exciting indeed. In other news I just want to bash the idiot who reviewed the Deafening in Sweden Rock magazine. Look, if you don’t like the genre, give the CD to someone who cares about it or why don’t you just go fuck yourself.

"You gave the album 3 out of 10 and compared us with, in your own words, ‘such uninteresting bands as Sonic Syndicate and Dead by April.’ They may be uninteresting to your cave dwelling, underground shit taste, but that’s what a lot of people like right now. That just proves how fucking stupid and unprofessional you are. I can take a bad review, if it’s got some real content. You’re writing that you can’t stand pop with growl and metal riffs. Well don’t review the album then you fucking idiot.

"They should ban you from reviewing another band, especially a small band that unfortunately is dependent on the reviews of such magazines. So, Simon Lundh, my review of your opinions is zip out of 100. Go fuck yourself."

Dødheimsgard is Working on a Secret New Project

And they want YOU!… to join in on the fun.

They are looking for fans to send in pictures, videos, or flyers of the band, send them to <deleted>.

Read their full announcement after the break.

Read the rest of this entry »

Dropping Like Flies – Dream Theater’s James LaBrie

Did I get ya? James LaBrie has announced a tour for his solo album “Static Impulse”. He hasn’t said anything yet, but I think he’s testing the waters. It’s only a matter of time until he portnoys out. Lulz. That joke’s funny because I’m a comic now, haven’t you heard?

Time: 5 years and still waiting

Well, I noticed that the official Metalscape “Wintersun Watch” timer is now gone a little over 5 years. That’s 5 years since Jari Maenpaa announced the sequel to his incredible debut album.

Over the last 5 years much has been said about this seemingly never to be released album. Some say it will be the greatest metal album ever created, some say it will suck, like everything else does nowadays. There are even those that dare say that Jari simply buckled under the pressure and actually stopped trying to record this disaster a few years ago, fled into Siberia with nothing in his pockets but snow and lint and now survives off of dead wolves. Actually, all of that stuff was said around 2 years after he announced the release, because after that, everyone stopped caring.

But not us! We, Metalscape, the last bastion for true metal on the internets, still soldier on. We’re here for you Jari, even if the latest we’ve heard from you is that you signed up for a Facebook account. Not the most encouraging of thoughts since Facebook is basically an internet procrastination tool, and also because it reminds me that the time it took Facebook to get started as a college student’s experiment, grow into popularity, explode into the worldwide scene, make that college student the youngest billionaire in the world and get its own movie was shorter than the time it’s taken you so far to record a music album.

Will we ever see the release of “Time”? Will I ever write another one of these articles about it or will there come a day when even I will stop caring? I guess only time will tell.

And now, HITLER:

Metalscape Quickie Reviews: “Predators” and “A Nightmare on Elm Street”

Movie reviews? On Metalscape? You bet your ass.

It’s a fun movie. The intro is pretty cool, helps you relate to the characters because you don’t know what the fuck is going on either. You got the original jungle setting and military dudes freaking out. The whole “we’re being hunted” thing is done alright. I do have a problem with Laurence Fishburne being a survival badass while also being a fatass. Also, Adrien Brody is now an action hero? Are we being serious here? Another thing that bugged me was that the Yakuza dude killed a predator with a sword. I mean I guess being japanese and all he might know his way around with a sword, but that doesn’t mean he’s a hardened modern day fucking samurai. And to kill a Predator with a blade? That must’ve been the pansiest Predator of all Predatoria (their home planet, look it up). The dude died too so I guess it’s not that lame.

Also, when the fuck are these predators gonna get some sort of device that allows them to see in a more conventional light spectrum? This infrared stuff is all nice and cool but when someone starts a big fire/gets covered in mud, it all goes to shit. Here you have the most fierce hunter on the universe and he can’t see his prey worth a shit because it covered its face with mud. Good going there guys.

Elm Street:
“-We got a young teen with a series of 4 inch deep cuts all along her torso starting from her neck and ending near her vagina. We found the culprit; This 18 year old kid was cowering in fear near her, he must have hidden the knife up his ass because we, the average United States of America police force, responded to some random neighbor’s call about some kid walking down a sidewalk in less than 20 seconds. Actually scratch that, I think we may even have arrived on the scene in like 16 seconds. Damn we’re good. I’m actually surprised a little bit there. Anyway, we got 14 squad cars on his ass and arrested this crazy killer kid who most definitely committed the most gruesome murder we’ve ever seen in the history of this piece of shit town. Well maybe that one time where a bunch of parents chased down a janitor in their cars and burned him alive is not too far off, but since back then we just didn’t give a shit about murder and the parents simply walked away, we can just assume it never happened.”

“-That’s odd, that same kid you brought in got his chest hollowed out somehow in about 10 minutes after you locked him up. Isn’t that just fucking weird?”

“-Fucking kids.”

“-No but seriously, that shit’s just weird. Don’t you think something else may be going on here?”

“-Nope. Let’s just go about our day like nothing happened. Let’s not interview anyone, let’s not put some detectives on the case, let’s not run any forensics on these bodies, let’s not demonstrate the least sign of standard police protocol. It’s probably just hormones, you know how these crazy kids are.”

The spooky parts are predictable, the characters are pretty shallow and the plot doesn’t make sense. Also, is it weird that I find this kid’s face more disturbing than Freddy’s?

Fucking unnerving I tell you.

7 Years and 20 Days and it's finally out!