I recently received a handsome influx of money as payment for some services I will be rendering, details of which I will only be discussing in the next Metalscape episode, and I have used part of it for this one purchase: My new iPod Touch.

I was already growing bored with my old ass iPod; its weary and scratched face sadly looking back at me every time I grabbed it as if it was trying to tell me something (“Kill me please”?). It’s been 4 beautiful years filled with musical enjoyment, but I feel it is now necessary to move on. I believe I will be retiring ol’ Fred with the record of longest surviving iPod in the Metalscape community, since everyone in the forums that’s had an iPod has reported a malfunction of it at some point before today. If you can prove otherwise I’d like to hear it.

I was waiting for Apple to release a 60 something GB version of the touch as I deemed 30 GBs was simply not enough. And while I probably should’ve waited a little longer until they release a 120 GB version, having the money burning a hole in your pocket to make the purchase immediately is a very hard thing to resist. So 64 GBs it was.

While my hatred for Apple and all their god damned brainless minions is very well known, I will admit that their line of iPod portable music players is a rather fine accomplishment. This here iPod Touch is friggin’ awesome. Just the gorgeous screen alone is worthy enough to deserve my praise. As I was telling Zachary earlier this week, “It’s like an oasis of pixels amidst my barren, analog life”. And then you have the wi-fi connectivity and the apps which both combined provide an incredibly vast range of content. It’s safe to say that I’m pretty happy with it.

I have of course jailbroken it already and I’m enjoying all the benefits the hack brings. I got Christina as my background in lieu of the usual black and I even designed my own icons to use on the dock (they’re smaller and less intrusive, which allow me to have more screen real estate to drool at). So yeah, I know some of you in the Horde have Touches, so if you have any app recommendations or any other tips, feel free to share.

Videos of the SUFFOCATION for http://www.fuel.tv have been posted.

In case you’re wondering, yes he does do the hand thing.

Suffocation – Cataclysmic Purification

Suffocation – Blood Oath

Borknagar has posted pictures of all the versions of their upcoming album “Universal”, set for release on March 2nd here in North America, and February 22nd everywhere else.

The “Dragon Edition” comes with all kinds of shit, a DVD with a making of documentary and a digital version of the album, a necklace, a patch, fucking keyring… It looks pretty sweet actually.

The double LP version comes with a couple of bonus songs and that’s about it. Kind of upsetting because I’d like to think that including some sort of download code for a digital version was becoming fairly standard.

The album art is pretty sweet though, so It would be nice to have a large version of it, and I’ll “acquire” my own digital copy.

So I missed last years Paganfest but really wanted to see Korpiklaani. Lucky for me they’re coming around again with none other than TYR!

However I’ll be going alone and if there’s any listeners who want to meet up let me know, I’ll be at the January 28th show at Thee Parkside in San Francisco.

Autographs are 300 dollars. Free if it’s going on your boobs.

There is now, and you can thank Arsis for that. Below is the video for their new single off their new album “Starve for the Devil”. It’s called “Forced to Rock”. Yeah no that wasn’t a typo.

Maybe this isn’t really Arsis. Maybe in the not-so-distant future scientists were finally able to figure out time travel, and they used former “metal” band Avenged Sevenfold to test out the potentially fatal process. Avenged Sevenfold agreed because their lives sucked ass anyway and if the thing actually worked, they could show a world that still hadn’t completely forgotten them that after 20 years of practicing their instruments away from the spotlight, they had finally managed to become decent at them (not much they could do for songwriting though). And so they traveled back in time, stole Arsis’ identity and made this video with like 5% of the regular budget for a typical A7X video because well, in the future, they’re all broke and miserable and their little money is worth even less. Also for some reason they’re trying to ruin James Malone’s image by giving him a lisp.

In all fairness though, it’s a fun video. And I like those pinch harmonics in the beginning.

Tonight, January 19, watch Suffocation and Goatwhore (And Devildriver if you’re into that shit) perform live at The Rave in Milwaukee, Wisconsin. Just sign up at http://www.theravelive.com/webcast/.

Too soon for a new episode? Fuck you:

ITE:Extra claps, Mantecan boyfriends, brutal RTS, excessive wiping, American lunches and terrible songs.

Playlist:
Trouble – Psalm 9
Brocas Helm – Drink the Blood of the Priest
Freak Kitchen – Murder Groupie
Strapping Young Lad – Exciter
Symphony X – The Relic
Immortal – Antarctica
Opeth – Blackwater Park
Annihilator – Alison Hell

Top Gear reviews the greatest car of history:

…was born in 1945. Which would make her 65 years old this year. Is it wrong that I find her hot as hell?

I love hot chicks, you have no idea.

That’s what you call Top Gear. There has never been a show about anything in the way that this show is about cars. Hell, you may not even like cars, but with Jeremy Clarkson and company setting up all their fantastically awesome segments, that doesn’t really matter. Where else can you watch a Bugatti Veyron race an Eurofighter Typhoon jet fighter? Yeah, that’s what I though.

I used to watch it whenever I might happen to catch it on BBC when I was back in Nicaragua, but ever since I moved here for school I never really watched it ever again. But now, browsing for something to watch on Netflix in this my all-nighter, I found that they have entire seasons, seasons, available for watching instantly online.

Fuck yes.

If you’ve never watched Top Gear, you should. And if you do and after that you don’t think it’s the greatest thing that has ever been on TV, you’re dumb.