BUY OR DIE!

My recruiter gave me a special diet, to supposedly lose about 10 pounds in 3 days. Sounds crazy, well it is. You can only do this thing for three days at a time, then you have to go back to normal, healthy, eating for 4 days. Otherwise you WILL “fuck your shit up”. That’s a quote.

Today was my first day, I don’t feel any lighter yet, and if I’m supposed to lose 10 pounds in 3 days, I should start noticing this shit tomorrow morning.

I was allowed to eat 1/2 a grapefruit for breakfast accompanied with a piece of toast and a tablespoon of peanut butter. For lunch 1/2 a cup of tuna, dry tuna, none of that pussy mayonnaise.

Dinner however was much more significant, I was allowed 3oz of chicken, 2 cups of green beans (which I fucking love anyway), and a cup of beets. I had never eaten beets before, but I think I’m going to start. They are supposedly stupid good for you and yet they taste like absolutely nothing, I could easily have a serving of these with every meal and not even notice.

I even get dessert, consisting of an apple and a cup of vanilla ice cream. Yeah that’s right, my diet REQUIRES me to eat ice cream EVERY FUCKING DAY. It’s so awesome.

It the time between breakfast and lunch was pretty hard, but I think I can get used to it, and the meals change everyday so it’s a little harder to get bored with it. Tomorrow will be the real test, I start the day off with a hard boiled egg and some more toast. I then need to keep my energy up through the KORPIKLAANI and TYR show, with only a piddly lunch. Followed by another awesome dinner with ICE CREAM FUCK YEAH.

So I’ll be sure to update tomorrow with how that went along with the show recap. Wish me luck, but if I can’t do this for three days then there truly is no hope.