Download Metalscape Radio 7

For some reason (and this has nothing to do with the fact that he’s a bitter old man trapped inside the body of a young and vibrant food connoisseur), he hates his birthday. So it is for this very same reason that I urge you to go out of your way and congratulate him as much as possible. He deserves it.

You can post as much as you want in this thread, where the pre-Birthday celebration has now officially started, you can also comment on this post if you’re reading it on the blog, you can post on his Facebook (if you don’t have him as a friend yet I dunno what the fuck you’re waiting for), you can find him on Twitter @zachms and you can even message him on Xbox Live if you feel so inclined (GT: Geirvaldr). Shit, I would give you guys his phone number, but that’d be crossing the line.

Anyway, I’ll start: Happy Birthday Zach!

My recruiter gave me a special diet, to supposedly lose about 10 pounds in 3 days. Sounds crazy, well it is. You can only do this thing for three days at a time, then you have to go back to normal, healthy, eating for 4 days. Otherwise you WILL “fuck your shit up”. That’s a quote.

Today was my first day, I don’t feel any lighter yet, and if I’m supposed to lose 10 pounds in 3 days, I should start noticing this shit tomorrow morning.

I was allowed to eat 1/2 a grapefruit for breakfast accompanied with a piece of toast and a tablespoon of peanut butter. For lunch 1/2 a cup of tuna, dry tuna, none of that pussy mayonnaise.

Dinner however was much more significant, I was allowed 3oz of chicken, 2 cups of green beans (which I fucking love anyway), and a cup of beets. I had never eaten beets before, but I think I’m going to start. They are supposedly stupid good for you and yet they taste like absolutely nothing, I could easily have a serving of these with every meal and not even notice.

I even get dessert, consisting of an apple and a cup of vanilla ice cream. Yeah that’s right, my diet REQUIRES me to eat ice cream EVERY FUCKING DAY. It’s so awesome.

It the time between breakfast and lunch was pretty hard, but I think I can get used to it, and the meals change everyday so it’s a little harder to get bored with it. Tomorrow will be the real test, I start the day off with a hard boiled egg and some more toast. I then need to keep my energy up through the KORPIKLAANI and TYR show, with only a piddly lunch. Followed by another awesome dinner with ICE CREAM FUCK YEAH.

So I’ll be sure to update tomorrow with how that went along with the show recap. Wish me luck, but if I can’t do this for three days then there truly is no hope.

So please help me out. E-mail him, Facebook him, post on the forums or try to get in contact with him in any way. I know he’s alive because I haven’t killed him yet, he’s just being a douche.

Stay Metal.

I’m on the phone with Zach’s mom right now so she can explain me what exactly happened during her college exchange student years in Norway.